SADHAN FLOURISHES ON SERVICE TO PEOPLE
I woke up at 3 O’clock tonight. It is raining heavily. I sat for some time on my asan motionless and repeated naam. I lay down again as I felt sleepy, I had to get up again after a little while. Rainwater kept dropping on my body. I meditated for sometime after readingthe Gurugita,. It is raining huge torrents. I went to Neeldhara. I sat on my asan after finishing ablutions. The rain stopped. Today the scene on the hill is very pleasant. Pieces of white clouds are rising close to the blue colored hill. I could not turn away my eyes on looking at the hill. I kept looking in that direction thinking of Thakur’s form. Overflowing emotion made my heart cheerful.
Today is ekadashi. I will observe fast without drinking water. The thought that there is no trouble of eating today created a flow of joy and zeal in me from early morning. I was sitting engrossed in naam on my asan-Atmananda came in with a glass of milk and said-“Dada, it is very cold today, tea is needed.” I said, ”Today is ekadashi, I am going to observe total fast—you all make your tea and drink.” Atmananda said—”But Barodananda, Inanananda don’t know how to make tea.” Atmananda returned sadly as I did not reply.
Thinking that the disturbance was over I started repeating naam. But I could not concentrate on naam. I could not bring back my earlier bhava within me in spite of trying a lot. Dryness and a burning sensation pervaded my mind. I thought, what has happened suddenly? Is it the consequence of not making tea for Atmananda and others? I stood up from the asan at once and went to Atmananda’s hut. Arranging everything by myself, I made excellent tea. Atmananda, Barodananda and Jnanananda were very satisfied on getting hot tea in the cold climate. I too brought along a glass of tea for Thakur. I felt like crying on offering tea to Thakur. As soon as I drank tea, Thakur’s pleasing memory appeared in my mind. I spent the whole day overwhelmed with the joy of naam. Throughout the day I remembered something that Thakur had said—’One day at the time of worship at the Brahmosamaj at Kolkata I had neither bhava nor bhakti-my heart was as dry as wood. Being unable to decide what to do I went outside to the road, fell at a coolie’s feet and prostrated to him. My heart became succulent instantly. Then I went and said prayers. The prayers were very good. On another day I disliked everything because of dryness, my mind could not settle down in my prayers—I prepared a chillum full of tobacco for a gate man, and the mind became succulent immediately, prayer also was conducted very well.’
I have heard that worship of God cannot be done by one who hurts another person for any reason. I have heard that if someone hurts mistakenly, even due to the right conduct of the devotee, then also the fruit of worship is lost immediately.
~Sri Sri Sadguru Sanga
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